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Monday, May 12th, 2008
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9:58 pm - Hack Thrown By Hack Phrase
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In this much-circulated outtake (thrown off of YouTube but still up at Gawker) of Bill O'Reilly wrapping up an old "Inside Edition" episode, Bill-O is scripted to introduce a Sting video by saying "And now here's Sting to play us out." I didn't think it was possible that Bill O'Reilly could be unacquainted with any cliche, but the experienced broadcaster reacts to these teleprompted words like they're some sort of cipher encryption. "Whatever it is, it's not right on the teleprompter, I don't know what that is, I've never seen that," he says sharply. Not realizing that it's not the Sting video but the words introducing the Sting video that has Bill flustered, an off-camera staff member gently admonishes "No, there is. We are gonna do Sting, yeah." His problem unaddressed, Bill-O now refuses to accept that the words before him are actually words. "I can't read it, there's NO WORDS ON IT! THERE'S NO WORDS THERE: 'TO PLAY US OUT!' What does that mean, 'TO PLAY US OUT?'" he stammers, repeating the confounding phrase as if he can't believe that everyone else in the room doesn't agree that it's complete gibberish.
He makes a final, Herculean effort to solve the riddle by staring silently at the teleprompter for several seconds but it's as if the words have been put there simply to taunt him. "What is--I don't know what that means, 'TO PLAY US OUT!'" he cries again. "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"
His staff no help at all, Bill finally summons up the "context clues" training he received in grammar school and weakly asks if "to play us out" mean something like "to end the show." This theory affirmed, he attempts the wrap-up a couple of times but anger and frustration have gotten the better of him and keeps screwing up. "We'll do it live!" he screams and as the offscreen voice starts to speak O'Reilly cuts him off with the defensive fury of a raging king or a cornered animal. "WE'LL DO IT LIVE!! FUCK IT!! I'll write it and WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!! FUCKIN' THING SUCKS!!!"
But Bill O'Reiily is a pro and seconds after this outburst he offers a flawless outro in his own words: "...that is it for us today, I'm Bill O'Reilly, thanks again for watching, we'll leave you with Sting and a cut off his new album. Take it away..."
The "take it away" is like a cool breeze caressing the viewer as the show transitions to Sting's dulcet tones. Masterful. But this moment of calm is all technique and when it is over O'Reilly seethes on, tearing off his jacket and screaming at his staff. Woe betide anyone or anything that thinks it can challenge this man in his kingdom, the English language included. At his say-so, words cease being words. Bill O'Reilly, one might say, walks in fields of gold.
And now here's Sting to play us out.
P.S.: My wife notes "He's doesn't know 'falafel' from 'loofah,' you can't expect him to know 'play us out.'"
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4:09 pm - Annoying Couple Real Life Version of Glaser/Benjamin Sketch
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 Tom Owens and Diana Helmer moved to Perry in December and engaged in an unusual habit.
They knew no one but waved at everybody.
"I've noticed the effects a wave has," Helmer said. "When you wave it's like a smile. A smile always changes your mood. You can't smile and not be changed."
. . .
Isn't it interesting that this couple is friendly and people think they are nutty?" Perry Mayor Viivi Shirley said.
. . .
While walking toward downtown, the two head down Willis Avenue, the busy street they live on. They begin waving to every driver.
Helmer lets loose an enthusiastic parade wave, arm overhead, bending at wrist and elbow. Owens goes overhead with a single swipe, all elbow.
The first two car passengers return it.
Owens' idea was born after the two moved to Perry from Marshalltown, the hometown they had returned to after living in Missouri, Wisconsin and Washington state.
Even Marshalltown was too big. They realized no one talked to the grocery store cashier.
"We didn't want to be that way," Owens said. "Everyone matters. No one is invisible."
The couple could have moved anywhere. Their jobs are portable - writers of nearly 80 children's books between them - with no kids and two cats. They chose Perry for its smaller size.
. . .
One reason they both left journalism many years ago, they said, is because adults wanted to read bad news, children didn't.
But adults, they found, maintain a childlike spirit in a wave.
Des Moines Register (via Obscure Store) Jon Glaser & H. Jon Benjamin, couple of years ago:
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 9th, 2008
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8:39 pm - Friday Night Videos: Long Time No Blog Edition
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| Thursday, May 1st, 2008
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9:12 pm - Happy Mission Accomplished Day!!!
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| Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
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8:56 pm - Wednesday Night Theatre Blogging
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Critics Condemn Stage Musical Version of "Gone With the Wind" as Cliched, Unoriginal
If only this show made us give a damn.
Variety
Frankly, it's hard to give a damn about this Wind.
Daily Express
Three-time Tony-winning director Trevor Nunn has delivered a long-winded show with rushed scenes, dull music and lyrics so banal that Rhett Butler is unlikely to be the only one who doesn't give a damn.
Hollywood Reporter
Will she recapture him? Will he stay with her? Frankly, I fear, you won’t give a damn.
Times UK
The only people likely to give a damn about this Gone with the Wind are the investors, who risk losing their shirts.
Telegraph
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(21 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
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9:25 pm - Hollywood Update
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| Saturday, April 26th, 2008
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9:44 am - Am I in this thing or what?
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I haven't seen "The Life Before Her Eyes" yet. I had one scene in it but before the movie's premiere in the Toronto Film Festival last fall (under the title "In Bloom") I was informed that my scene had been cut. According to this (spoiler-ish) article, the version of the film that just opened has been re-edited since Toronto. I don't know if I'm back in it but I am still listed in the cast list on the IMDb and apparently the press materials. This review mistakenly identifies me as the actor playing Uma Thurman's husband. I didn't play her husband in the movie but my character did/does have the same last name as the husband, hence the confusion. I played a guy giving a lecture that Evan Rachel Wood attends (in the script this occurred near the end of the movie). Has anyone seen the film? Is this scene in it? Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Update 5:36 pm: An associate emails to say that I am visible in the background of a scene but my voice is not heard. There you have it.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, April 25th, 2008
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7:45 pm - Friday Night Videos: Blah Blah Blahdadee Blah Edition
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Friday Night Videos will return. Really. But moving into new home this week has seriously encroached on my scouring-the-internet-for musical-oddities time. Meanwhile, follow this link to video of last week's NY Comic-Con Venture Brothers panel (shot by Unofficial Venture Brothers Panel Discussions Documentarian ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kuiosikle).
In other news:A woman is accused of chasing her boyfriend with a knife after thinking he was an actor in a pornographic movie they were watching together.
(via obscurestore) Hey, my wife did the same thing when she realized I was in Legally Blonde 2 .
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(19 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
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7:47 pm - Fictional Balls
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| Monday, April 21st, 2008
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7:50 pm - Revv Me Up
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A very pretty one, a very fancy one, a quite disgusting one, a quite delightful one
On Saturday afternoon at Comic-Con the crowd was growing so vast outside the room where the Venture Brothers panel was to take place that my manager said "This is gonna end up like the Who in Cincinnati." But only spirits were crushed: even after a last-minute upgrade to a larger auditorium many fans still ended up being turned away. Enough. Next year we're playing Shea.
It was a rollicking, frolicking affair as usual, moderated by Friend of Venture Ken Plume. A preview reel of Season Three clips was ecstatically received. A couple dressed as the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend asked Doc if he'd perform their upcoming wedding ceremony. ("I'm gonna give you a tentative maybe.") A young man asked where Doc and Jackson got the idea for (peripheral character) Manic 8-Ball, giving the impression that he'd never seen one of these. (I grew up often seeing the parodies of things before the originals so I could relate.) The Scrotal Safetey Commission kid from last year was there again but he didn't get any question time. After the panel we made our way to the autograph tables where we competed for fan attention with the likes of Lou Ferrigno and Eva Mendes. Finally off to a dinner organized by Ken Plume where I had the pleasure of meeting and trading witticisms with the Code Monkey himself, Jonathan Coulton. Other highlights of my Madcap Manhattan Weekend included shooting a short film for the eminent playwright and old Urbaniak drinking buddy Will Eno (from whose play "Thom Pain" derives the name of this Livejournal) and seeing my old downtown theatre comrades Elevator Repair Services's wonderful stage adaptation of the first chapter of William Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury."
Back in LA on Monday when this news broke. Everybody sing.
(Photo via Toon Zone)
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(65 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
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8:26 pm - Pundits Ain't Shit But Hos and Tricks: The Evan Gahr Story
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Conservative columnist Evan Gahr and a woman.Rappers are gaga over Obama. The superstar Jay-Z, who raps about “b------,” “hoes” and “n-----,“ even urged voters to support Obama in a robo-call for the March 4 Ohio primary and caucus. The equally foul-mouthed rapper Will.I.am, whose hit songs include “I love my B----,” has hyped Obama in two widely-viewed videos posted on YouTube.
. . .
It’s high time the media ask some tough questions. Why has Obama collaborated with rappers? Is he familiar with their words? How could he not be? The senator’s spokesperson said that when he and Ludacris met the two men found common ground on AIDS prevention. How do you find common ground on sexual behavior with someone who calls women “b------?”
Have any rappers donated to his campaign? Will he return the money? Why has he not renounced support from rappers?
Evan Gahr, Human Events Online, 4/14/08
She's just a dumb cunt. That language even makes my friends wince but that's what she is. She's a dumb cunt.
. . .
Again, it shows what a dumb cunt she is.
. . .
When I call her a dumb cunt, it's for a reason. That's what she is and that's what she should be recognized as.
Evan Gahr, interview with Luke Ford, 8/3/04 Bonus Gahrbage™: Check out this 2004 blog post in which a royally freaked out Gahr calls public breastfeeding "obscene." The man is a piece of work.
Update 9 pm: It might be noted that the man Mr. Gahr willingly conducted his lengthy, chatty interview with four years ago is a pornographer. It's high time Human Events Online ask some tough questions of their new columnist.
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(30 comments | comment on this)
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7:46 am - Gmail Ads Jackpot!!
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I'll be in New York this weekend and among other things I'll be shooting a short film for my friend Will Eno. Below, a screenshot of an email he sent me about the filming and the attendant sidebar ads that Gmail thought would be relevant to me based on the email's text.
You know, now that I think about it...
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(29 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 12th, 2008
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9:31 pm - Clash of the Unemployed Titans!
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| Friday, April 11th, 2008
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9:52 pm - This Week in Advertising: The Boy Who Cried Viral
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"A lot of what we do to some degree, and we’re not afraid to admit, is trial and error. When you’re an agency that’s doing stuff that’s never been done before, who knows what’s going to happen?"
-Jason Klein, founder, Special Ops Media So Heidi "The Beat" MacDonald and countless other entertainment-related bloggers posted what appeared to be some bootlegged wardrobe test photos of Scarlett Johansson in the upcoming Lionsgate feature "The Spirit." The next day Heidi and the others received a cease and desist email--not, as Beat commenter Jeff Trexler notes, from Lionsgate legal but from the marketing company hired to promote the film online: Special Ops Media, a firm known for its "viral campaigns and guerrilla marketing efforts."* The good professor smells a rat:One of the intuitive principles confirmed by cog-psych research is the appeal of taboo, scarcity and perceived persecution. I can’t think of a better way to co-opt social media than to get folks to think that they’re defying Big Brother. A faux C&D is a way of making people feel that they’re important, that they need to post the pics lest the pics disappear and that promoting the pics–and thereby the film–strikes a blow for human freedom.
Another theme from cognitive research is the way in which the drive to learn and transmit gossip is hard-wired in our brains. Note that the “leaked” pictures were apparently from costume studies, with the actress not smiling and the clothes not quite perfect. It’s imperfect information to which we shouldn’t have access–which makes us want to see it and pass it on.
We’ve already seen this strategy in the Marvel Boy viral, in which the company would seem to have used a fake C&D to create a sense that the site was leaking taboo gossip that could disappear at any moment. For Marvel Boy, the breakdown came, it seems, with the apparent lack of contingency plans for when uncontrolled gossip appeared in the comments thread. My guess is the Spirit marketing strategy might have been a bit more airtight if Special Ops hadn’t IDed itself overtly or included the odd pseudo-legal capitalized phrase “Copyright Infringement Violation,” which is what led me to look ‘em up in the first place. So: were the photos really leaked by, say, some wayward wardrobe department intern? Or is all just a marketing ploy?
As I said in the comments to Heidi's original post, I was "actually kind of shocked" to see the wardrobe photos. My initial assumption was that it was an unauthorized leak. I'm an actor and I've "posed" for many wardrobe test photos in my time. They are, essentially, snapshots, shot quickly by the costume department with no regard to lighting or composition beyond the general visibility of the clothes. The actors are certainly not "in character" as they stiffly model these tentative and imperfectly-fitting costume pieces. (Before the digital age the wardrobe photo camera of choice was the Polaroid.) So my first reaction was "Hey! People aren't supposed to see those." But in the age of agencies like, well, Special Ops Media, Jeff Trexler's theory makes perfect sense.
But, seriously: why would a studio promoting a film (let alone a visually arresting comic book adaptation) want to release intrinsically awkward reference shots that register no energy or sense of behind-the-scenes excitement? Shine a public light on them and all wardrobe photos look tacky. ("Scarlett looks as though she’s gearing up for a sketch on MAD TV" said a Beat commenter.) Are we to believe that the producers, the leading lady (stars have contractual approval of all publicity images that feature their likenesses) and the marketing company all thought it would be a good idea to "leak" and then "prohibit" these anti-pinups to generate buzz in the nerdosphere? Or did Special Ops Media simply plan to "leak" them and then, only after realizing the online reaction was less than overwhelmed, proceed to "prohibit" them? Or was Special Ops merely given the job of plugging an actual leak because they're the movie's online marketing people? Who can tell anymore? Mr. Wizard, get me the hell out of here.
*In addition to "Viral marketing," the "Services" section of SOM's website offers "Behavioral & contextual marketing" and (God help us) "Fan evangelization services." Which I'm guessing is an extra-creepy term for stealth marketing.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 10th, 2008
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8:34 pm - **Breaking** Actor Doesn't Get Job **Voucher Ankles Exclusive**
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Well, I did not get the role of the speechifying bad guy who shows up at the end of the low-budget supernatural thriller. Which is fine. Really.
Today I auditioned to be the voice of an IHOP radio campaign. They need that Dr. Venture spin, dontcha think?
In the online age, can an actor, a dentist and an orthopedic surgeon share a special bond? Some say yes.
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
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9:12 am - Oops!
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I forgot to blog for a week. Well, the life I saved may be my own.
All's relatively quiet on the career front although there have been reports of interest from certain quarters. No word yet on the future of "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" although this guy thinks things look good.
Meanwhile, I remind you that the Venture Brothers panel at New York Comic-Con will be Saturday April 19th at 4 p.m. Featuring me, Michael Sinterniklaas, Jackson Publick, Doc Hammer and possibly others.
Finally, join me in welcoming Voucher Anklet antiotter back home after a 420-day tour of duty in Iraq. Just in time for Venture Brothers Season 3! (Premieres June 1st).
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(21 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, March 31st, 2008
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9:54 pm - Bring it on
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toddalcott posted an appreciation of Jack White's band The Raconteurs and received the following comment:WEB SHERIFF
Protecting Your Rights on the Internet
Tel 44-(0)208-323 8013
Fax 44-(0)208-323 8080
websheriff@websheriff.com
www.websheriff.com
Hi Todd,
On behalf of XL Recordings and Warner Bros Records, many thanks for plugging “Consolers Of The Lonely” ... .. thanks also, on behalf of the labels and The Raconteurs, for not posting any pirate links although, if your readers would like a good quality, non-pirated, preview clip, a widget of the promo video for “Salute Your Solution” is available for fans and bloggers to embed at http://www.theraconteurs.com/widget.html
Regards,
WEB SHERIFF Well, guess what, Web Sheriff? I'm linking this. What are you gonna bloody do about it?
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(37 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 29th, 2008
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9:11 pm - Aaron Wider: An Important New American Voice
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By all appearances, Aaron Wider is the chief executive of a flourishing mortgage bank in Garden City, issuing more than $33 million in home loans to buyers across Nassau and Suffolk counties over the past four years.
A closer look at his lending practices, however, reveals that many of these loans relied on faulty appraisals and exaggerated loan applications, leaving behind angry homeowners who are struggling to pay mortgages on overpriced homes.
. . .
Wider's bank, HTFC Corp., is being sued in federal court by two large banks it sold millions of dollars in loans to -- Pennsylvania-based GMAC Bank and a subsidiary, Minnesota-based Residential Funding Company -- which charge in court records that the loans were fraudulent.
Newsday, 11/18/07
The General Motors Corporation reported a 90 percent decline in first-quarter profit today as losses at its finance arm overshadowed the gains from restructuring its automotive operations.
G.M., which fell behind the Toyota Motor Corporation in the first quarter to become the world’s second-largest automaker, posted net income of $62 million, or 11 cents a share, compared with $602 million, or $1.06 a share, in the same period a year earlier. It was the company’s second consecutive quarterly profit, but the number was weighed down heavily by losses from subprime mortgage loans made by the General Motors Acceptance Corporation.
New York Times, 5/4/07 I'm sure GMAC was shocked --shocked-- to discover that it had purchased mortages from a dubious broker. Well, they'll show rogue soldiers like Aaron Wider a thing or two. </subprime crisis-Abu Ghraib comparison> But enough prologue. Let's get to the heart of the matter: Mr. Wider's ability to distill the language of the streets to its poetic essence. To some with this gift they give the Pulitzer. Mr. Wider they fine 29 grand. Where's the justice? From the GMAC v. HTFC deposition (excerpted in the sanctions opinion-PDF):
( We're just beginning )
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, March 28th, 2008
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8:51 pm - Friday Night Videos
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| Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
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7:55 pm - The Fwooshing
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