Sic of it all

If placed in a situation where you must quote another author, always write "[sic]" after any word that may be misspelled or looks the least bit questionable in any way. If there are no misspellings or curious words, toss in a few "[sic]"s just to break up the flow. By doing this, you will appear to be knowledgeable and "on your toes," while the one quoted will seem suspect and vaguely discredited. Two examples will suffice:

"O Sleepless as the river under thee,
Vaulting the sea, the prairies' dreaming sod,
Unto us lowiest sometime sweep, descend
And of the curveship [sic], lend a myth to God"
- Hart Crane

"Beauty is but a flowre [sic],
Which wrinckles [sic] will devoure [sic]
Brightnesse [sic] falls from the ayre [sic]
Queenes [sic] have died yong [sic] and faire [sic]
Dust hath closde [sic] Helens [sic] eye [sic]
I am sick [sic], I must dye [sic]: Lord, have mercy on us."
- Thomas Nashe

Note how only one small "[sic]" makes Crane's entire stanza trivial and worthless, which, in his case, takes less doing that Nashe, on the other hand, has been rendered virtually unreadable. Anyone having to choose between you and Nashe would pick you every time! And, when it's all said and done, isn't that the name of the game?

-Michael O'Donoghue, "How to Write Good"

This online report about the nine drunken Colorado fratboys who trashed a couple of hotel rooms shows that ABC News is way on its toes:

One of the students, William Martin, a freshman political science major, responded to an e-mail sent by ABC News to all nine of the alleged offenders asking if there was another side of the story.

"nobody (sic) ever looks at the good things a person does with their life," Martin wrote, describing a trip to Mexico during which he built houses and other volunteer work feeding the hungry.

"But as soon as we make a mistake everyone is incredibly quick to judge us. yes (sic) we made a huge mistake, and I feel absolutely horrible about the situation. but (sic) the only way to live a valid life is to learn from our mistakes so as not to repeat them ever again."

Martin went on to question the validity of the national coverage the story has received.

"everyone (sic) in colorado (sic) already despises us, is it your attempt to have the entire nation despise us?" he wrote. "we are intelligent, bright, and caring people who made an extremely stupid, unintelligent, and disrespectful mistake that doesn't reflect who we are, but that doesn't seem to matter to anybody."

You didn't see that coming, did you, kid? ABC News comes down hard on email lowercase! (Is our young people's disregard for capital letters indicative of a disregard for society at large? The article leaves it for you to decide.) Meanwhile, since standard usage is to place "[sic]" in brackets, not parentheses, the article should actually be quoted this way:

One of the students, William Martin, a freshman political science major, responded to an e-mail sent by ABC News to all nine of the alleged offenders asking if there was another side of the story.

"nobody (sic) [sic] ever looks at the good things a person does with their life," Martin wrote, describing a trip to Mexico during which he built houses and other volunteer work feeding the hungry.

"But as soon as we make a mistake everyone is incredibly quick to judge us. yes (sic) [sic] we made a huge mistake, and I feel absolutely horrible about the situation. but (sic) [sic] the only way to live a valid life is to learn from our mistakes so as not to repeat them ever again."

Martin went on to question the validity of the national coverage the story has received.

"everyone (sic) [sic] in colorado (sic) [sic] already despises us, is it your attempt to have the entire nation despise us?" he wrote. "we are intelligent, bright, and caring people who made an extremely stupid, unintelligent, and disrespectful mistake that doesn't reflect who we are, but that doesn't seem to matter to anybody."

Also, as much as I hate to kick a news organization when it's down, I have to point out that they left out a "(sic)" [sic] after the initial lowercase word in that last sentence. (Four words, people: ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL!) The report also states there was "more than a [sic] $1,000 worth of damage in the two adjoining rooms." In fact the youths were charged with "Class IV Criminal Mischief stemming from destruction of property equaling more than $1,000 but less than $20,000 in damages" and the current damage estimate is over $15,000. These frat-tards bought themselves felony charges, to say nothing of Mr. Martin's capital offense. Heh heh. Oh God.