The Jeffrey Scott Shapiro Fox News Interview Reenactment
The role of Mr. Shapiro is played by Chris Crocker. All words are Mr. Shapiro's.

I think that it's VERY OBVIOUS that President Bush is someone who CARES DEEPLY about PEOPLE! He CARES DEEPLY about AMERICA!! I think that after SEPTEMBER 11TH he LIFTED OUR SPIRITS at a very dark time! HE DID A LOT OF THINGS FOR THIS COUNTRY!!! And for SOME REASON this country has really TURNED ITS BACK ON HIM and I find that to be VERY SAD!!!!!!


I wrote a piece for Insight Magazine which is owned by the Washington Times where I compared President Bush to PRESIDENT LINCOLN! And the reason I made that comparison is because OF COURSE President's Lincoln's presidency was about ENDING SLAVERY IN AMERICA! I think that President Bush has a vision TO END SLAVERY WORLDWIDE!!! And I think that any LIBERAL should realize that "LIBERATION" is a part of being "LIBERAL!" You're promoting HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!


*sniffle*


YOU CAN'T PUT IT ALL ON THE PRESIDENT!!! THAT'S JUST COMPLETELY UNFAIR!!! The President has a GOOD HEART!! He's someone who has REACHED OUT TO PEOPLE and I think he's the FIRST TO ADMIT that he's MADE SOME MISTAKES and he's LESS THAN PERFECT!! But when you have a GOOD HEART and you're REACHING OUT, sometimes you have to REACH BACK!!!!


Oh-hunh-hunh-hunh-hunh.
Waa-haaaahh-haaaahh-haaaaaaagh!
Glughh. Mmmmmffff. Oh-hunh-hunh-hunh.
Hunh.

Mr. Shapiro disappears beneath his bedsheet fort. Curtain.