James Urbaniak ([info]urbaniak) wrote,
@ 2008-11-11 11:35:00
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That's me all over
Yesterday I had voiceover audition for a commercial for Disney's Polar Express theme park attraction. The directions on the script said the voice should have a "magical storyteller" quality. The casting person rolled the first take and I read the copy ("Have you ever wanted to...ride...the Polar Express?"), doing my best to project a sense of childlike wonder and magic. After the take, the casting person said "It sounds a little...creepy." "Well, I can't help that!" I said and we both laughed. The second take seemed to go better.

Fast forward a few hours and I'm at home reading a Richard Scarry book to my toddler son. As always, I'm reading Lowly Worm's dialogue with an English accent. (I've done this a million times.) Suddenly from across the room my wife says: "That sounds really creepy."

I hadn't even told her the voiceover story.

Update: A commenter points out that "The Polar Express" is not a Disney film so the ride may or may not be a Disneyland attraction. The ad script said something about Disney but it may have just been a reference to the style of voiceover they wanted. I don't remember exactly. Anyway, everything else is accurate. Your creepy friend, James.


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Yes, well
[info]philnelson
2008-11-11 07:42 pm UTC (link)
Was it like Phantom Limb at all? I could see how that would be pretty creepy.

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[info]catwalk
2008-11-11 07:45 pm UTC (link)
and thus was born the history of 'Creepy Jim'...

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[info]marvelouspatric
2008-11-11 07:52 pm UTC (link)
honestly, i just hear Dr. Venture in my head saying "Have you ever wanted to... ride... the Polar Express?" which is in fact...

creepy.

And cool. Very cool.

And sarcastic.

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[info]dougo
2008-11-14 05:44 am UTC (link)
Me too, in his seduction voice, with exaggerated air-quotes around "ride" and "Pole"-ar.

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[info]khudirambose
2008-11-11 07:53 pm UTC (link)
See, I definitely hear "mad scientist", but "creepy" is something else entirely. I don't think your voice is creepy. "Mansuetude" maybe.

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[info]the_automatik
2008-11-11 09:20 pm UTC (link)
No comment related to yours, just ICON!LOVE!

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[info]saratea
2008-11-11 08:02 pm UTC (link)
hahahah you def have your voice niched ....how badly do i wanna hear now!

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[info]jaxvor
2008-11-11 08:05 pm UTC (link)
It sounded rude in my head.

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[info]caindog
2008-11-11 08:17 pm UTC (link)
I must say, "riding the Polar Express" does sound like a euphemism for something tawdry.

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(no subject) - [info]vforventure, 2008-11-11 09:58 pm UTC (Expand)

(Anonymous)
2008-11-11 08:17 pm UTC (link)
Honestly, that reads creepy no matter who says it.

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[info]aakman526
2008-11-11 08:22 pm UTC (link)
"Have you ever wanted to...ride...the Polar Express?"

Sounds like one of Santa's pick up lines.

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[info]mr_effulgence
2008-11-11 08:53 pm UTC (link)
Wow--excellent call.

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(no subject) - [info]pinkfroginachai, 2008-11-12 03:58 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]drd2001, 2008-11-12 02:49 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]piratekingchris
2008-11-11 08:25 pm UTC (link)
I keep imagining different characters from Venture Bros saying that line....They ALL sound creepy!

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[info]a_yzsaakc
2008-11-11 09:08 pm UTC (link)
Even Dean?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]nimble_walrus, 2008-11-11 09:18 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]piratekingchris, 2008-11-11 09:26 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]noirsensei, 2008-11-11 09:40 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]piratekingchris, 2008-11-12 01:26 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]noirsensei, 2008-11-12 01:47 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tolchocky, 2008-11-12 05:00 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]piratekingchris, 2008-11-12 09:06 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]noirsensei, 2008-11-13 11:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-11-13 09:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]noirsensei, 2008-11-13 11:45 am UTC (Expand)

[info]capthek
2008-11-11 09:00 pm UTC (link)
Just reading your text creeps me out.

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[info]mitejen
2008-11-11 09:14 pm UTC (link)
After the take, the casting person said "It sounds a little...creepy."

I certainly laughed, because I was having trouble imagining your voice with a magical storytelling quality. Especially with special emphasis on 'ride.'

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[info]shlabam
2008-11-11 09:20 pm UTC (link)
Do you know which park it'll be at?

I imagined it as Rusty, Phantom Limb, and Jonas Jr. Jonas Jr. didn't sound creepy at all. A little patronizing, but not creepy.

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[info]shlabam
2008-11-11 10:33 pm UTC (link)
Oh, this is for a commercial. I misread it and imagined you being the dude who tells the people in line to keep their hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the car at all times, and to not flash the camera. Now THAT I could see Rusty doing.

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[info]the_automatik
2008-11-11 09:20 pm UTC (link)
Just the phrase "magical storytelling quality" sounds smarmy to me; no wonder!

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"Have you ever wanted to...ride...the Polar Express?"
[info]mcbrennan
2008-11-11 09:25 pm UTC (link)
Todd Palin once tried to pick me up in a bar with that line.


You might want to be careful trying to talk your way out of traffic tickets. You could end up doing serious time for various unsolved crimes.

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Re: "Have you ever wanted to...ride...the Polar Express?"
[info]tolchocky
2008-11-12 05:01 am UTC (link)
Did you say "Thanks but no thanks?"

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Re: "Have you ever wanted to...ride...the Polar Express?" - [info]mcbrennan, 2008-11-14 08:08 am UTC (Expand)

[info]vforventure
2008-11-11 09:58 pm UTC (link)
You don't really strike me as the "magical storyteller" type. Maybe as evil Jonas, Jr. or Phantom Limb. I don't know. I just your episode of L&O: CI, maybe that's affecting my imagination.

Also, you've just made me realize that I need to work on some voices for when I read my daughter Audrey stories. I read The Lorax the other day and it was bereft of funny voices.

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[info]sexualcabinetry
2008-11-11 10:06 pm UTC (link)
Ya know, in times past they'd have used Paul Frees for "magical narrator". He had a terrific range, but you easily nail his creepy stuff, like the Haunted Mansion narrator and occasionally even a little bit of Boris Badenov.

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[info]numbereleven
2008-11-11 10:34 pm UTC (link)
You seem to have a lot of voice-awareness posts lately.

Edited at 2008-11-11 10:34 pm UTC

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[info]medox
2008-11-11 11:01 pm UTC (link)
Well, that whole movie creeped me out, so I think your first read of the copy sounds perfect.

Such dead, glassy eyes... *brrr*

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[info]musicpsych
2008-11-12 12:04 am UTC (link)
I was thinking the same thing - I never saw it, but I remember that the commercials creeped me out. A creepy reading would be fitting.

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(no subject) - [info]indignantindigo, 2008-11-12 01:34 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fluffyman, 2008-11-12 04:06 am UTC (Expand)

[info]crudelydrawn
2008-11-11 11:12 pm UTC (link)
Oh, man. I thought for a second that the audition was to be the voice at a new ride, like, Haunted Mansion style, and got way too excited.

Islands of Adventure is getting Hogwarts and Disney has the JAMES URBANIAK DISEMBODIED VOICE COASTER.

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[info]sexualcabinetry
2008-11-12 01:05 am UTC (link)
"WELCOME, FOOLISH MORTALS!"

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[info]rogueagentmia
2008-11-11 11:37 pm UTC (link)
You should try saying it like evil Jonas Jr. from "Return to Spider Skull Island."

Talk about creepy.

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[info]ciliandis
2008-11-11 11:38 pm UTC (link)
Am I seriously the first person to point out that Polar Express wasn't even a Disney movie? .... *goes back to hide under her geek rock now* But, in all seriousness? You totally can't read that line in ANY voice without it sounding pretty damn freaky.

Also, with a name like Lowly The Worm, we always knew the dude was a creep when no one was looking.

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[info]chaosomega
2008-11-12 02:03 am UTC (link)
I guess you are officially a 'creep'.

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[info]cocacola58204
2008-11-12 02:04 am UTC (link)
This "Polar Express" attraction is coming to Sea World.

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[info]sailortweek
2008-11-12 02:14 am UTC (link)
You say CREEPY like it's a bad thing!
Did you say "ride the Polar Express"" like a pornstar would?

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[info]glamourcorpse
2008-11-12 03:19 am UTC (link)
I'm just here to say how pleased I am you were reading Richard Scarry to him! THAT'S a good parent. :)

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