James Urbaniak ([info]urbaniak) wrote,
2007-02-14 11:28:00
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For Immediate Release



After reading the above in The Beat I realized that I needed a professional, meticulously worded press release to trumpet my own upcoming Comic-Con appearance so I had my staff whip up the following. All blogs and media outlets are welcome to it.

James Urbaniak will be appearing at New York Comic-Con on behalf of Show Business Gods Celebrity Management Inc. (Danny Rickleman, President) where he will be available for "autographing" and (pending the finalization of his contract) will "pose" for a limited number of photos with "fans." The "posed" limited "photo opportunity" will require a $50 "donation" to Mr. Urbaniak, who promises the money will go to "charity or whatnot." A rising film and TV star, James is currently starring in the Cartoon Network Adult Swim program The Venture Brothers where he has been cast in the unique and challenging role of a neurotic scientist with bad people skills. The series had nothing to do with the events in Boston on January 31st. NYCC officials note that Mr. Urbaniak's participation adds still more entertainment value and celebrity appeal to a convention that is already brimming with obscure voice actors and Star Trek: The Next Generation day players.

"The fact that James Urbaniak is making the effort to leave his apartment is terrific," notes Skippy Chodphur, Mr. Urbaniak's publicist. "I am told that he may even shave for this appearance." Adds Chodphur: "The whole point of New York Comic-Con is not just to give fans a chance to hear celebrities 'talk' or 'give a speech' but to give them an opportunity to actually share the same physical space as these Gods among men. Urbaniak honors us with his mighty presence."

The Comic-Con Venture Brothers panel is tentatively scheduled for Saturday, Feb. 24th at 4:30 p.m. Mr. Urbaniak's autographing schedule, the exact time and location for the photo sessions, his preferred form of address and rules regarding eye contact will be posted on his blog in the next few days.

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[info]whirringblender

February 14 2007, 16:35:55 UTC 5 years ago

I can't think of Hayden Panittiere without thinking about how she played Dot in "A Bug's Life".

[info]greyaenigma

February 14 2007, 16:41:04 UTC 5 years ago

I cleaned out my change dish this weekend -- $64! When are you coming out to Portland to "pose"?

[info]hardcorehuntin

February 14 2007, 16:41:29 UTC 5 years ago

Maybe you should wear a cheerleading outfit, just to guarantee the autograph/photo line to be around the corner.

Anonymous

February 15 2007, 17:36:31 UTC 5 years ago

OR perhaps an oramge "speed-suit".

They are quite enhancing.


Best
Mark

[info]thisweeksclimax

February 14 2007, 16:48:56 UTC 5 years ago

I hope and pray that the photo above is the "head shot" that we lucky fans can get signed by the hand of Urbaniak.

[info]urbaniak

February 14 2007, 16:53:38 UTC 5 years ago

It was taken one hour ago by my Mac cam. I haven't reproduced it yet.

[info]hot_eyeball

5 years ago

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[info]thisweeksclimax

5 years ago

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[info]urbaniak

5 years ago

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[info]starsinmybelly

February 14 2007, 16:49:25 UTC 5 years ago

save james urbaniak, save the world?

[info]snatchbeast

February 14 2007, 16:50:24 UTC 5 years ago

I have no idea who she is, which I blame on living in a culturally dead bubble type cave.

I appreciate your bio more, however.

And I really sound retarded.

[info]topic_sentence

February 14 2007, 16:58:30 UTC 5 years ago

Oh man... if only I lived in New York (or could afford a plane ticket there).

[info]tamburlaine

February 14 2007, 16:58:37 UTC 5 years ago

Oh god I just bought my ticket. Hopefully that 45 bucks will get me some quality eye contact.

[info]urbaniak

February 14 2007, 17:14:01 UTC 5 years ago

For $45 you only get a blank stare. Smiling costs extra.

[info]tamburlaine

5 years ago

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[info]barbituratecat

5 years ago

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[info]grapesodacarl

February 14 2007, 17:01:21 UTC 5 years ago

Awesome. If only I could attend this "New York Comic-Con" you speak of.

[info]enigmakat

February 14 2007, 17:07:28 UTC 5 years ago

But will you be wearing the cheerleader outfit? For $50 I want to see some thigh.

[info]urbaniak

February 14 2007, 17:20:17 UTC 5 years ago

Thigh reveal is $100 however I will be selling x-rays of my femur at $25 apiece.

[info]eronanke

February 14 2007, 17:34:40 UTC 5 years ago

You look positively demonic in that picture, James!

[info]ghostgecko

February 14 2007, 17:35:38 UTC 5 years ago

Wow. Ms Pan . . . um, can't spell it . . . that's rather cold. EVEN get pictures taken? Only the blessed. The folks at Horrorfind

Still torturing those of us who don't live in NYC and can't afford transportation, eh? Feh. Iguess I'll just have to sit home, watch my new copy of Sticky Fingers of Time and seethe.

[info]cyberpilate

February 14 2007, 17:43:09 UTC 5 years ago

I will so donate to your "charity" for this honored opportunity.

[info]barbituratecat

February 14 2007, 17:44:49 UTC 5 years ago

I'd totally go to Comic-con for that. But I think you need to show more cleavage...

[I'm so totally out of the loop, I have no clue who that girl is.]

[info]gundamtsubasa

February 15 2007, 13:57:16 UTC 5 years ago

She's the cheerleader from the show Heroes who's been (fairly) recently slutting it up with Paris Hilton.

[info]crudelydrawn

February 14 2007, 17:50:50 UTC 5 years ago

.

Oh, man. Urbaniak, your perfect mix of wholesome good looks and jailbait appeal is going to make the public want to donate so hard. I meant "much". Donate so much.

---

I'm going to be in NYC that day, so there's a possibility I will show up at the panel and obnoxiously yell various things while you're speaking. Y'know, in a loving fan sort of way. I'll be the tired-looking Chinese girl with black and red/pink hair shouting your name repeatedly. One of those girls, anyway. I might also be frantically waving money at you.

[info]teamwak

February 14 2007, 17:58:00 UTC 5 years ago

Silly sod :)

[info]spooky_chan

February 14 2007, 18:04:19 UTC 5 years ago

Wait...are my eyes playing tricks on me? Dear gawd, is there something inbetween Hayden Panettiere's legs?

See, you certainly need a "hot shot" like that for the 100 dollar special.

Anonymous

February 14 2007, 21:13:18 UTC 5 years ago

And here I was thinking I was out of frame.

[info]leechan

February 14 2007, 18:10:51 UTC 5 years ago

Too many "quotations" and not enough CAPS LOCK. Also, nice "fleece".

There are rumors circulating that some of us Columbus folks might hop in a car and drive to New York just for the day to see you. How you like dem apples?

Anonymous

February 14 2007, 19:01:36 UTC 5 years ago

I'd pay the 50$! there was a bumper sticker in the gumball machine at the local walmart than made me think of you, it read "i heart Blogging" this really was at Walmart!!

Anonymous

February 14 2007, 19:48:48 UTC 5 years ago

you sir, are comedy gold!


JTree

[info]gazblow

February 14 2007, 20:04:01 UTC 5 years ago

JU! Have your manager Rickleman call me! His girl's been rolling me into voicemail. Got a great project for you, Hayden and Scott Bakula! It's Children of Men meets The Hitchhiker's Guide with you as Clive Owen, Hayden as Mos Def and Bakula doing that Quantum Leap thing.

[info]urbaniak

February 14 2007, 20:26:50 UTC 5 years ago

Danny Rickleman only handles my convention appearances. "Legit" acting inquiries should be sent to Swifty Glasscock, The Brill Building.

[info]tao_of_tyler

February 14 2007, 20:10:19 UTC 5 years ago

$50 is a little steep. I counter with a Snickers bar and a burned copy of Alanis Morissette's opus "Jagged Little Pill."

I may even throw in a Fresca. No promises though.

[info]kuiosikle

February 14 2007, 20:14:24 UTC 5 years ago

I'll be honored to share the same physical space as this God among men next week. How much for a picture of you flipping me the bird?

Anonymous

February 15 2007, 17:46:37 UTC 5 years ago

I'm not sure if Urbaniak has a fee schedule worked out yet but here's a guys that would be an excellent resource for pricing out assorted humiliating acts.

http://www.ouchytheclown.com/


Best
Mark

[info]bitores_mendez

February 14 2007, 20:19:14 UTC 5 years ago

Can I paypal you 50 bucks and mail you a cardboard cut out of my head for photos?

[info]brain_auk

February 14 2007, 20:28:27 UTC 5 years ago

I'm already spending all my money just to get to NY!

What do I get for a blowjob?

[info]urbaniak

February 14 2007, 20:41:24 UTC 5 years ago

This is the New York Comic-Con not the "champagne room" in some two-bit outerborough strip club!

[info]brain_auk

5 years ago

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[info]urbaniak

5 years ago

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[info]brain_auk

5 years ago

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[info]wisedonkey

5 years ago

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