The Inevitable
Yesterday I had auditions for Kirt Gunn's indie film "Lovely by Surprise" and Aaron Sorkin's new TV series "Studio 7." "Lovely by Surprise" is a very funny, imaginative script about, among other things, a writer and her relationship with her estranged father. I auditioned to play a product of the writer character's imagination, a sort of troll-like person who literally springs to life out of one of her short stories. This film is shooting around the same time that Hal Hartley's "Fay Grim" is scheduled to start, so it's an open question if I could actually do it if I were asked. As we say in show business, we'll see.

"Studio 7" is a backstage comedy-drama about an SNL-type show. For this audition, I rattled through Sorkin's witty dialogue with a pacy, prickly energy that was positively Sorkinesque. What more could they want? Sharing the waiting room with me were such eminent farceurs as Denis O'Hare, Ben Shenkman and Doug E. Doug. None of whom, incidentally, were reading for the same part as me. So: Good luck, gentlemen. If they don't give me this show, there's no justice in Tinseltown.

As regular readers of Voucher Ankles (or "the Vouch") know, in recent weeks it seems I've been constantly auditioning either to play accountants or to be in Verizon commercials. Well, today these two separate trends finally dovetailed: I auditioned to play an accountant in a Verizon commercial. This inevitable merging obviously means that I have reached the high-water mark of my Accountant-or-Verizon-Commerical Audition Period. I await the next trend.